Just Get Over It.

Most people with a mental illness will tell you that they have things that will trigger an episode. Sometimes they just have things that are non-negotiable points; if you want to continue building a friendship with them, you will not do certain things in the understanding that those things can hinder the healing process. Most of us are in a process of healing to get to the point where we can function like a person without a mental disease.

Three of my biggest ones come in the form of phrases.

"Just get over it."
"Suck it up and deal."
"EVERYONE has issues."

On a personal level, I have spent my entire adult life struggling with those three little things and not understanding why *I* couldn't get it together when everyone else *could*. A lot of my year and a half in therapy has been spent coming to terms with the fact that I have an illness and that the inability to do these things isn't my fault.

The first one is becoming easier and is the least hurtful of the three. I admittedly over-stress about things that any normal person would consider minor. However, I realize that fact and try to lessen the amount of stress I expose myself to simply due to that fact. Whether it be real life, internet, gaming, whatever.. I have to be extremely careful of what I take on.

Usually, number one leads into number two. Trying to explain that I need to manage my stress gets me this response more often than not. Having already been put on edge by the first statement, my defense mechanism is thereby heightened by the insistence that I simply let everything go that stresses me out. At this point in my life and my healing process, I am completely incapable of doing that. I have not yet reached duck status where minor things can roll off of my back.

Inevitably, trying to explain this further leads into statement three. Statement three, in this context or not, has been known to completely end friendships where I am concerned. This is the point where I will NOT deal with someone anymore. When someone says this to me, my brain informs me that the person does not -- and will not -- understand what it is like trying to deal with an illness of this magnitude and has absolutely no interest in -trying- to understand it.

Does everyone have issues? Yes. However, I'd like for someone who doesn't have a chemical imbalance to tell me that they would go through the same things I have.

What things?

My last major relapse, I ended up in the bottom of my shower, curled up in a ball and crying. Had I had razor blades handy, I probably wouldn't be here. I almost put myself back in the hospital. I'm still not sure how I managed to pull myself out of that, except that the concept of -failing- so hard and ending up back in the hospital terrified me more. Being alone around people I didn't know terrified me more than what I was going through.

Why did I relapse so hard? I'd gotten off my regular schedule of medication. That's it. There was no other reason. I wasn't upset. There wasn't a huge load of stress. Nothing abnormal had happened. But because I wasn't taking my meds properly, my mind started to spiral on itself, and I was -convinced- that I was nothing but a burden to my friends and family. I was -convinced- that everyone would be better off not having to deal with someone as sick as I am.

When a person tells someone like me to 'just get over it' or 'everyone has issues', we don't hear what you mean. We hear 'your illness isn't real.' We hear 'why can't you deal with it like a normal person?' We hear everything we've told ourselves countless times over before we got help.

I prefer to compare my struggles to diabetes. No one would tell a diabetic 'hey, I produce insulin, why can't you?' Yet, those same people don't even hesitate to say 'just get over it.' I am still in the beginning stages of dealing with my 'diabetes'. I am -still- getting used to the fact that I will be on medication for the rest of my life. I am still getting used to the fact that having children can very well be a 'life or death' decision. I am still getting used to the fact that my life will never be that of a perfectly healthy person.

I *envy* the fact that a normal person's issues are amazingly easy to fix in comparison to what I go through every. single. day.

So please. The next time you think 'gods, why can't you just -deal-?!', pause. Whether someone has been up front and honest with you about their illness or not, stop to think. It is entirely possible that they cannot 'just deal' with life as it is.